Seminar with Lucas Icasatti 3.dan
This weekend my dojo is holding an seminar with Lucas Icasatti 3.dan from Argentina, He’s a long-time student of Yamada Sensei (8th dan) and Waite Sensei (7th dan). Icasatti is now living in Norway, running a dojo in Oslo Aikidojo Aikido Klubb.
I have been to one seminar before this and it was the weekend of my 20th birthday, it was great. Even tho I was completely new to it and I was a bit shaky. That was by Ulli Kubetzek 5th dan Aikikai from Aikido Dojo Frankfurt, Germany. I really enjoyed Ulli and his approach. One of the practitioners he brought with him (I can’t recollect the name or grade) was such a great person, he smiled all the time and was really helpful with beginners. Really a inspiration, truly a great person. I tried to pair up with him as often possible.
This seminar I am specially nervous about, its grading. Its my first grading in Aikido, and I don’t think the grading from Kendo helps much since I can’t really recollect any of it from my memory. I’m so shaken by this I fear I will mess up. Been reading in my Aikido books, checking youtube and just trying to remember everything I learned, but will it help? Will my nerves take control and leave me shaking in front of the rest, I fear so, and yes, I know fear don’t amount to much so I should just lose the thoughts and feelings all together. (Being nervous is one thing, that is some times “healthy” while fear is just insecurity making you freeze up.I pray it will go okay, and I’m afraid that I will be the first, even tho I don’t think being first changes much. But knowing everybody is watching me, haha, I can feel my stomach twitching just by thinking about it (so stop it!). I have a minor fear/anxiety of doing something in front of many people.
What I have to do is:
Tandoku dosa: Hidari-kamae, Migi-kamae, Mae ukemi, ushiro ukemi, shikko
Katatedori gyakuhanmi shihonage
Tachiwaza Katatedori aihanmi Ikkyo
Shomenuchi ikkyo and shomenuchi Iriminage in both tachiwaza and suwariwaza
and ryotedori kokyuho
I guess it will be okay, I just hope I don’t get so shaky that I mix up everything and forget what’s what. Im not really sure about shihonage (I don’t even know what sort of shihonage to do, and I’m not sure I will recollect what sort is which when sensei tells me what to preform) and I’m not really feeling secure with iriminage. And as basic as it most likely is ushiro ukemi is giving me some hard time landing properly, sometimes even the rolling part over my shoulders. I tend to mix up omote and ura and each time sensei tells us what to do and there is a word I’m not really sure about I tend to get so insecure that even tho I understood the rest I freeze. I wish I could one day have a long intense training one on one to get fully the aspect of connection and to learn not to hesitate each time I feel the connection. Or even not to hesitate the times uke don’t act as I thought, since being able to blend with what happens when it happens is a key in all of this. In the middle of the “heat” I’m capebale of mixing everything up, from suddenly having problems with Irimi, other times tenkan. At least what I feel a bit okay with is ikkyo, and thank the universe that I at least feel okay about something 
Since I recently paid my trip to Japan I haven’t really been swimming in cash, and when I read how much the seminar cost would be I guess I went pale. Fearing that I had to turn it down, but luckily I manage to borrow some cash of my dad so I’ll be able to both attend the seminar and the dinner after saturdays training.
I have blueish knees after mondays practice, I tried fall a bit more like one of the sempai’s, while falling I guess I changed my mind and it resulted in hitting the mats with the knees. Its not at all bad, and its not like shocking blue, neither does it hurt anymore (except the first 20 minutes doing shikko techniques on tuesday) The reason I mention this is: For those that didn’t learn so when young, don’t change your mind to many times while falling, ha!
Different matters: I want sushi and I want it now! But life is good, I’m doing well and even tho this post was sort of negative, its not reflecting my state of mind. Im happy happy happy, and still going strong
Good luck!
I’m sure you’ll do fine.
It’s nice. 
Also, there are SO many Japanese words in this post, I must be honest, I have no idea what half of them mean. =.=
You’re very into Japanese culture, I see.
Also, just to rub it in, I was eating sushi as I was reading this post.
Let’s say that I understand the Japanese words in the post
..and being your instructor it is quite good, right?
Apart from that, all techniques have omote (front) and ura (back) form (except few exceptions that I will remind you!), and that is true for shihonage too: in graduation you are asked to perform both forms, starting from omote, twice, left and right, and next ura, left and right..
A good tip (but tonight and tomorrow before grading I will remind this to all of you) is do not start head down and rush into the technique! Nobody ask you that!!
Graduation is an exhibition: show us, graduation committee, what you learned until now.
Take your time, have also a look around you, what all the others are doing (especially if you are not sure: it is very improbable that all are making mistakes!).. take a big breath.. perform your technique.. SLOWLY!!
Do not worry and remember to breath!
It will go well!!
..ohh… about the hesitation part or feeling the connection..
one day you’ll probably get there and there is only one path (way.. 道): keiko, 稽古, practice (the word keiko, 稽古, means, literally “to reflect of ancient matters”.. I think it is a lovely concept!!)
Breakfall, connection, contact.. practice practice practice!!!
That is the only real advice from me!
You are not alone!
Several of us will be grading and ALL of us will be nervous and tickled by some fear, ALL of us will make some mistakes, and ALL of us will do some things well.
Most likely, several pairs will be grading at the same time, so yes, you will be first – but together with others. And it’s allowed to look left and right to get a hint, then breathe and do your thing.
Sensei says you’re ready to grade – trust him!
We are there grading with you – trust us!
You are not alone!
Jac.
Now remains to follow my own advice… Jac